Just miss the bus man! :D

hehe, So i was sitting in the bus stop. and it was time for the bus to leave back to university.
People came running to catch the bus. I just sat there, and didnt take the bus. Simply coz it wasn't interesting enough. =D

I just decided to wait for the next one. So what if it seemed strange? So what if I didn't follow the norm?

Sometimes, its good to just break free, And let your mind and heart freeeeeeeeee. Come out of that little box. =)

This world is worth nothing man! BREAAAK FREEEEEE!!! =)

My Little Escapade…

16^th April ‘13

Tuesday

People all around are in a rush. I paused for half an hour and just sat to watch. That guy in blue checked shirt is enjoing his own sweet time with his date. Even though these two sisters are immersed in their smart phones, they manage to finish their food and look at each other and make a supplication together. There is a grey haired Chinese man who just smiled at his wife and gave her a piece of cake. I caught their son watching me, perhaps he is wondering how I'd eat with my face covered. :D

A really pretty girl in her golden hijab just smiled with so much shyness at someone I can’t see. The couple next to me seem so sweet. He bought her a slice of cake and is just smilingly watch her eat. Two girls sit far in the opposite end, laughing at each other’s entertainment. Both lost in their little world.

If only I had a bit more money, I would have definitely paid a treat for this Chinese family sitting by my side. I respect that they value family time. I respect that none of them are busy in their own conversations. I took a few minutes to write to myself and then I cried. Coz I just saw that love still exists in this world that I hate. I guess coz I just saw it in them. So beautiful how the father just finished his food, and his wife just passed her plate to him for him to help her finish. There wasn’t any conversation. Not any word. Just one look. Of love. :)

She then just smiled and said something in Chinese to her son and they all smiled. Ah How I miss my mother’s smile! So much warmth! :(

How strange can it be, to be in a world that is beautiful, and yet so painful?

I stood up to pay a treat for them and leave anonymously…but I won’t tell you if I did it ;)

You know why?

I found out, they were celebrating their son’s birthday.. :’)

How I wish I had taken a picture of them!!

My journal where I originally wrote the above account...

Belief..from a different view.

All we need is to believe in Him more. Most often, we don’t realize that the source of our happiness has been in the outcomes of any effort. Now, when suddenly the outcomes just don’t seem to match our expectations, no matter how hard we try, internally we just don’t feel happy. We don’t feel satisfied. Instead, we feel demotivated, and like a complete failure.

I should believe in Allah. (In Abeer’s words) What I mean by that is that often we forget- excellence is the only thing by and for which we were created. Nothing less. By default, excellence and success is what our heritage is.

If only we can see it, even when everything around us seems otherwise..

Because often, reality is not what is seen, but that which is hidden. That’s what trust is, That’s what Belief is. 

I guess. And I hope. I really really hope.

Dua- ‘O Allah, guide me to see happiness and contentment in what You decree for me, and please decree the Best of Your gifts for me’

Let me grow...

[Note: It's too personal. Not beneficial]

Everyday, as I go through my list of dreams that I aim to fulfill in life, I only get more and more scared.
I had put away thoughts of marriage. Coz It isn't my priority right now. But...it hit me hard that it will come when it has to come right? :(
The thought scares me more than anything else. Will I find the perfect someone? Who will let me grow. Someone who will read my dream list and say he aimed to tread the same path too..
Should I go on with hopes in my dreams? Yes. Will I get the perfect someone. I don't know.

The only thought that keeps me going is that while Allah SWT has planned my life so beautifully so far, so He would have, for my future too.

Can I just be me and still see you in me?

Wouldn't you let me be your silent sunshine?

And in the nights when I cry, I know I'm heard by You. So there is nothing else I can ever ask for.