Painful Peace..

In painful peace I bleed
Only You see my cry
Yet in Your creation I have greed..
But only You can help me try

I look around and try so hard
To fill my heart with peace
To fill this void with love
I turn away and run from You
Yet there is no refuge from You except in You

I run away and I look for happiness
In temporary joy I float...
I hold on to it and hold it tight
But it just leaves me alone

Most of my pain is self chosen
If I could, I should chose to let go
Of the poison in my drink
Of the attachment I linger in

So forgotten I feel..
So insignificant I seem..
Perhaps my aim was mistaken
Perhaps I searched in the wrong places

You honored me with Your gift
Yet, too long it took me to see it.
I crushed the flower You gifted me
Yet, still I live with its essence in my hands

I stay with hope to feel touched
By the promise You made was true
I wander around, I pray desperately
In shattered hope of getting back to You

You said You'll run to me if I walk to You

But what if I'm still crawling?

If crawling lets me bend down, fall on my knees

Then to You I bow begging

"Give up! Its futile to try!" My mind says
Yet, still..my heart talks to me,
"A little effort goes a long way"
It stirs some hope in me

Shall I hang on?

To this rope of hope, so thin.

As long as You are at the other end of it.

Painful is my sorrow
Peaceful is my hope
In painful peace I bleed
And only You see me cry

All I have to do is try
All I had to do was try..

 

Note: The flower here refers to Islam. Gifted by Allah.

While she walked alone

Along the long deserted street she treads

Walking alone, she feared..

Aching for company she stared at the sky

Not too long and the star winked at her smile

Her teary eyes sparkled back at the heavens

She looked around for the earth to be shadowy

Night it was, but the land seemed to love her bare feet

The sky, like a huge blanket of harmony

The path like a vast carpet of victory...

Nobody is around so she opens her veil

Taking the chance, a chill breeze kisses her soft pink cheeks

She searches for play and looks around with hope

And Swiftly hears the winds play with her hair

Again, she stares at the dark starlit sky

One by one, they all wave 'Hi!'

She ogles at the unending pathway

The road just lights up with each tree pass by

She felt like singing so she revealed her secrets to the wind

The birds sang back to her, almost as if they understood her so well

She yearned and prayed for her dreams to come true

Looks around and sees,

Isn't she a part of someone else's dream too?

Hope stirs in her glee

Love makes her, with joy,  flee

Happiness engulfs her all along

Her sorrow lingers yet the cheerfulness overpowers it

A forgotten memory faded away with her soft song

Far across the street, a sweet music she hears

The song of peace, the song of a lullaby

It felt like the road recorded her delicate steps

That the birds sang for her all along so passionately

That the crescent moon smiled at her so gently

While the stars watched over her with so much intent

So she rejoiced at her own company

Yes, She bled readily and gladly

At the pain of knowing too much love

She walked along the lonely street

And realized she wasn't really alone at all.

[Deeper than whats written. Has a long story, almost like an entire life story behind it, with beautiful lessons learnt along the way]

I have better beautiful pictures of the same road.
 But this is the picture taken exactly when this piece was felt.
But somehow i cant do justice to the feeling, with my words. :(

Beautiful. Simply.

"there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person be themselves"

Taken from younger sister's Tumblr...

The Fork in the Road

As I reach closer to my goal, I realize my heart is racing faster away from it. The more close I go towards it, the more I do not want the end to come. I question myself why every moment I can possibly think. Perhaps what my goal was wasn’t intended to please the Almighty in the first place? Perhaps my heart doesn’t feel at peace with the many compromises I am making to achieve what I imagined to be right? Perhaps I didn’t make the right decisions in the first place? Perhaps…

I do not know what decision to make. What should have been and what has been isn’t under my control. That’s all I know for now. But what can be now depends upon the decision I make now. I am wedged up in a maze. Or to put it in better words, I am facing a fork in the road. And there is no one who can help me chose the right way except Him, because there is no one standing here facing the fork. I stand here alone wanting to traverse both the roads that lie ahead of me. But both go far ahead and apart from each other.

Two different roads. Two different journeys. One little heart.

I wish and I desire and I hope and I want real badly from the deepest core of my heart that He comes down to me and guides me to the road He wants me to take.

As the clock tick every second, my heart races faster to a feeling of deep discomfort. More fearful. More sad. More scared. More lost.

Where am I heading? I don't know...