Isn't it beautiful that Allah swt could grant love in the heart of your spouse for you? :')

Alhamdulillah..
I thank Allah for adding love in our lives, coz He said,

"And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' " [Qur'an 14:7] ;) 

While he's been away...

My husbands been away for a while, to a place he's never been to alone, with people who speak languages he can slightly understand but not converse in, for a good cause though.
This has given me ample time with my self, to reflect on our marriage, on our lives individually; his and mine, and on our future. When he left, I argued with him. So it wasn't really a happy farewell. Yet, it was a much needed break from each other, for me to rejuvenate my love and think of ways this marriage could be saved. I don't mean it was dying. Its been a happy marriage, Alhamdulillah, but like most couples say, in the first year of marriage things were getting real and trials and stress began kicking in, hence slowly drying the affection between us. (or maybe that's what I wrongly thought). I knew something was missing, and I couldn't tell what...

We individually worked on our faith. Yes we woke each other up for Fajr, made sure each other never missed a prayer, did almost a lot of things that ensured we weren't swaying away from the Deen. However, we didnt help each other in our connection with Allah swt. It was dying in each of our hearts; he figured his heart, I didn't mine.
He often told me, when I asked him why he seemed so dull, that 'it is dead', pointing to his heart. I tried telling him things he could do or I'd recite the Qur'an or play Mishary when he's around in the room, but mostly never knew how to help (much because perhaps mine has been dead too).

What was missing in my marriage wasn't (to my surprise) any affection between us, but both of our connections with our Rabb. I could have told him to spend a day per week in the masjid doing Itikaf, making sure no matter what keeps him busy, he makes time to rejuvenate his soul and bring it to life. I could have sat and done the tafseer with him like he always wanted to. And there are many ways we could have in turn helped each other.

Now that he's gone, so close to Allah's house, and I'm here day by day bringing back the lost me, getting back to my connection with Him, since I have no choice but to rely on Allah the Almighty for the safety of my husband, I feel the change in our voices when we talk over phone, the increase in our concern (me for his safety, he for mine health), and we feel that 'honeymoon phase' back in our silent 'Love you's'.

Fear of living without him: An eternal wait

SubhanAllah I sit in my prayer mat after Isha and think about ALL those women of the past who sent their husbands in Allah's path, with nothing in their hearts but tawakal ala Allah (faith in Allah swt).
Not faith that their husbands are going to be back safe, but faith that their husbands are going in the path of Allah SWT and so whatever good OR BAD happens to them, it is in Allah's hands. How strong would they have been to let their affairs in Allah's hands no matter what the outcome could be; them raising children as single mothers, them living their lives in Allah's care ahead in case their husbands didn't return, or just them not ever knowing news of what their husbands might be going through and so waiting timelessly for news of their spouses...

Indeed, in their eternal waiting, they've set different standards of having 'faith' in Allah swt that I just cannot comprehend.

If he's been away only for a few days, with much advanced technology than those days so I know every place he is in, or what he has been doing etc, and yet my heart and mind keep wandering and fearing for his safety until he's back, I wonder where those women derived their strength from, subhanAllah.

'Every marriage is different'

This is one of the BEST lines I ever read on marriage and it is SO SO true.

No matter how many people come to give advices on marriage 'based on their experience', MY marriage is different. There is no harm in taking the good from their advises and applying it in our lives; but what's important is to be able to judge our spouses ON OUR OWN without comparing situations, without expecting similar outcomes like others and without just emulating other people's married lives.

Nobody else is my husband's wife :D

And Alhamdulillah for that :D

And so nobody else is a judge of his potential, nobody else can dictate to me how I should feel about him or what I should tell him, etc. No matter how close anyone else is, I love my husband and I am happy with him; and what other's think or feel about him is their problem.
I've promised to respond to his Zammilooni when he needs it; and that doesn't mean I need to wait for him to shiver in fear and run to me saying 'Zammilooni' coz an angel just pressed over him; His 'zammilooni' is in me standing by his side whenever I can. Be it in the small things he stands for in life, that his or my own parents would be against. Or the big decisions he makes in life, with no one but me as his spouse to discuss with and consider. His 'zammilooni' is NOT in me standing beside him showing anyone-  'yes my husbands like this and well I'm dealing with it'. But me standing beside him showing 'YES! My husband's like this, and I'm proud of him for this'.

Not just that, but it is also important to place each of our loved ones in their specific pedestals, independant of each other. My parents are in a high pedestal in my love for them, and so is my husband. And so are his parents. But what problems my parents have with him are not mine and should not affect how my relationship and feelings for him is and vice verse. This is how we separate the pedestals, and learn to prioritize. And THAT is when we know, noone can come between our sacred relationship. which means-

It is never too late to amend issues

The beauty about marriage is that everything happens for the first time. And everything isn't meant to be perfect.
The key is to embrace all the first times be it in good or bad ways, and have a heart that's constantly reflecting on the state of the marriage, and it's path towards Allah's pleasure. Everything else is just fixed or beautified more, by Him. Alhamdulillah.

'But I'm not happy anymore'

A most common phrase many say at one or the other points of time in their lives. But, every time we be in such a situation, ( and i read this somewhere as well) asking ourselves if there was ONE thing left to fight for in our spouses, will help us get past the pain. My answer has always been yes, and not for one but for many MANY MANY things I love him for EVEN if I woudn't admit it AT THAT exact point of time. Be it in the littlest of things like his smile at some of my childish naiveness or the biggest of things like the days he made me grow in my dreams. Or simply his chuckle without a reply when I say 'I love you'.

If there is even one small thing worth to fight for in him, then it's worth holding on with patience during hard times.

Importance of 'me time' in our lives

All this excitement to renew my married life with him (like as if we are 15 years married! ) has been the result of me taking my time off him while he's been away. And this me-time has been so healthy and helpful in bringing back the old feelings and dreams of walking together, aging together for 60 or 80 years ahead, and further till Jannah and beyond inshaAllah. And so i guess we need to do this more often ;)

Alhamdulillah, for the blessings in the little harsh days as well :P

Waiting for you, soulmate. <3  For you to see this newer, kinder, more empathetic me, inshaAllah. And hopefully, receiving the same from your me-time there.

The love? Just like it was day one, and it will always be. iA :) 

Of looking back, looking around and looking ahead…

For years, I’ve been yearning.

To feel a sense of closeness to Him. For being tested, just to know I’m loved.

To know, if I’m loved by the One I adore so much.

I’ve been drowning in the grief of realising the unworthiness of this life and this Dunya, and the increasing desire for Jannah…the real deal. Been wondering, will I ever be an extra-ordinary slave of Him, or just simply be.

Except until a few days ago, while sitting alone near His blessed house and contemplating over His countless blessings over me right from my birth to this very breath that I take… Unfathomable and Uncountable blessings from the Almighty; Humility overpowers me and I’m overwhelmed with the feeling to make more supplications, yet I can’t ask for more, before thanking Him enough.

And then I wonder in awe, ‘why me?’  

Amidst the young orphans, the homes that were wrecked, the bodies that were born paralyzed, the school children whose schools were bombed, the underprivileged with meager sustenance, the healthy new borns with a brain damage, the unintelligent, the children whose parents worked in the streets day and night, those whose new clothes were only the discarded ones of the rich, youth who slept hungry, fasted with no food to break their fasts, and amidst those who didn’t know Islam- the truth, the ones who slept and woke up living a systematic life with no purpose, those who were blessed with the Dunya and not the Deen, those who had the Qur’an but only in their shelves and amidst….this unjust world; He raised me. Not deprived like the ones above, but differently and beautifully. Deprived (or rather ‘tested’) in some things, but given most; Unlike the ones above. He granted me so much I never asked for. And most of all, if He granted me the desire to see Him and yearn for His love, wasn’t it the greatest of blessings to be thankful for already?

And that…. Was sufficient. To look back at what I’ve been yearning for.  I AM extraordinary in the simplest of ways He’s given me or deprived of me. AND SO ARE WE ALL. and so are those in the above mentioned, too...Alhamdulillah..

I always thought Maryam AS said this for herself when she replied to Zachariah that the fruits she had were from Allah swt. Indeed they were. But her statement was so general- “She said, ‘It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account.’" [Qur’an 3:37]  " إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَرْزُقُ مَنْ يَشَاءُ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ "

:’) 

Need I say more?

Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account… Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without measure..[Qur'an 3:37]

[May Allah make us of them]

2nd Ramadan 1436,Alhamdulillah

Endured..

You know when you’re at the most vulnerable state, and he endures you?

That’s when you know he loves you more than you’ll ever know.

You’ll never know why you’re loved that much. Even he won’t know.

That’s love.

It makes you happy like you’ve never been before.

Loved like you’ve never been loved before.

I never thought I’d write about it.

But this is what love does. It makes you do things you’ve never done before.

Because Love….evaded me. I was afraid to love.

But that’s the thing about it.. You don’t plan to fall in love. You just do.

I believe in true love. Didn’t the Prophet SAW and Khadidja RA/Aisha RA or all his wives love each other so much?

Didn’t Adam AS have Hawwa for being loved, to feel complete, to feel….satisfied with the imperfections of life…

To be loved when you’re at your best, is beautiful. And to be loved for your flaws, is incomprehensible...

To be in Love, is to feel complete.

Love; Let it find you.

And when you find love, you find yourself.

Stronger is the power of love, when two souls jointly grow fonder

of Him, Al Wadood, ‘who puts affection in their hearts’ (8:63)...

© Sameera Hameed

Empty Vessel

I will look back to this day.

To that feeling when I stood in front of a pile of books stacked in that Ustadh's shelf. And felt blank. How I know nothing , not even to understand what I read in front of me and yet how I wish to learn so much! Really… I see an ocean in front of me, and I feel like a thirsty empty vessel desperately desiring to grasp it all…

This is really a long journey to embark on. But this is not impossible. This is the beginning and one day I will look back to this day, when I’m drowned deep in that ocean, far far away… I know I’ll get there one day. inshaAllah.

And when I do look back, and then look ahead, I’ll still feel the same, and be the same thirsty empty vessel.

Why do I want this?

I want this so bad. Because I feel like I've become stagnant. In my eman.

I want my eman to rise with the light of His knowledge.

And everytime I Err, or sin or think of sinning, I want knowledge to remind me of Him.

I want to KNOW what I do, why I’m doing it, and how to do it in the way that pleases Allah swt. In whatever I do.

I want to have answers when my children ask me.

I want to know.

I want to learn more n more of Him, to increase in my love and fear of Him.

I want my heart to feel alive. Its dead. I want to know how to live.

And if possible, I want to connect people around me to the Most Beaaaaaaaaaaaaaautiful connection of all. In whichever way I can. I want this so much.

I want to tread the path of knowledge, for it’s the path to Jannah and I want Jannah real bad.

I HAVE to look back to this day. To remind myself WHY I ever tread on this path. No matter how difficult it gets. I shouldn't give up. And no matter how easy it gets, I shouldn't become arrogant.

The funny thing is, what I felt today is what I felt 8 years ago, back in my home, when I stood there, staring at my shelf of books that I had wanted to learn. I look back to that day now, and I realize I’ve read them all. Yet I think this feeling will never change. And it shouldn't. inshaAllah.... 

O Allah! Make me eligible to receive the light of your knowledge and utilize it to Your pleasure. Ameen.... 

Starting from me.

One day will come when we will realize that while we remained sitting in the train, everyone walked ahead of us. We thought we were learning, but we really didn't. We thought we were teaching, but what did we gain?

One day will come when we finally will realize that all this time we pointed fingers without realizing and forgot to look at the mirror ourselves.

One day will come, when everyone except us would have benefited .

One day will come come, when we will think of starting over again. When we'll realize that all those lessons were for us and not for them anyway. 

In  the end the battle was ours. And while everyone fought their way and shone, we were still sitting in the borderline waiting for something that wasn't going to happen. 

We didn't know but one day will come when we will.

What I mean is, most often we forget, what we do is for us. what we say, is for us to follow first. It has become easy for us to share statuses n qoutes and sayings for the world to benefit. Question is, how much are we paying heed.

We learn so much. Isn't it time to think and act differently? ;)

Excellence. It's who we are. By default.

She said to me with tears in her eyes, that she feels like she  was unconscious for three years. Completely lost and forgot who she really was. Her dreams weren't the same anymore. And she didn't think of things the same way anymore.

Shocked at my colleague's reflection of our college life, I stare at her in awe. Of trying to understand how the same world that has completely changed me. A world and the same place that helped me find myself in the past three years, completely eluded her. Knowing the amazing, fun loving, creative and ever so dreamy and adventurous person she is, I was amazed she saw nothing in her but the feeling of not being good enough for anything.

"It's not anyone. It's just me." "It's who I am" "I'm just so sure of myself that I'm not worth it"

One out of every five friends I have has said this statement.
:(

This world is so cruel in the way it moulds our mind.

Yes. After years of trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I now learnt that all the while it wasn't me, but the world itself. This cruel world.

That tells you to join a school that kills your creativity. That tells you to shut up when you know the answer. That pops your bubble when you tried to see happiness in small things. That tells you,  you simply aren't good enough.

That teaches you that success is more important than the effort.  Victory is better than courage.
That giving up means losing. And letting go means giving up.

WRONG. I repeat. This cruel world is messed up.

Most often, we don’t realize that the source of our happiness has been in the outcomes of any effort. Now, when suddenly the outcomes just don’t seem to match our expectations, no matter how hard we try, internally we just don’t feel happy. We don’t feel satisfied. Instead, we feel demotivated, and like a complete failure.

Yet, Often we forget- excellence is the only thing by and for which we were created. Nothing less. By default, excellence and success is what our heritage is.If only we can see it, even when everything around us seems otherwise..

We really need to unlearn a lot of things this world taught us, and learn to live life ourselves. We need to re-find the us in us.

When Allah swt has Himself said He has created us perfectly,  what is it about ourselves that we are allowed to complain about then?
Our character, our shape, our color, our thoughts- what belongs so much to us? He has moulded everything.  And If Excellence is what Allah says it is, then excellence it is.

So forget what the world has claimed you to be. Go write that beautiful article. Because your vocabulary doesnt matter. Your expression does. Go paint your wall. It will have a meaning,  a story and a part of you in it. Go speak up. Because if you don't,  noone will. Dare to do the brave things. Trust me you will lose nothing. So apply for admissions to harvard. Build that business you have dreamt of establishing. Make that art gallery dream come true. Tell people proudly what's your cgpa and let them know how successful your semester was,  despite your cgpa that the world thought must be flat 4. Turn a deaf ear to those who mock you. Stay with those who let you be yourself.

Don't let anyone be the judge of your potential.  Not even yourself.

If you let the world mould you, it will, without doubt. But if you change your perspective, it cannot do anything.

And only you can do this to yourself.

You are YOU. And you are Excellent.

That wet carpet that didn't weep....

So she captured a moment today. Not in her DSLR. Not in her phone's camera.
In her heart and her mind.
The moment where a faithful, hopeful one sat behind a pillar and prayed.
Prayed until she knew she was to be granted what she asked for, for sure.

The carpet that was wet, but it wasn't the one that wept
The concrete column in front, but wasn't stronger than her faith
That hopeful heart...for her wishes and dreams to come true
That grateful soul...for all the dreams she's so far been through...

She captured it. And when her heartfelt pleas to Allah are answered, she will remember it and see it again...

Unlearn?

So she wishes to go back in time to unlearn it all, simply because of the joy in learning...
But the pain of knowing all of some things pulls her back to want to stop...
So can she stop this world for a bit please and first learn how to go on?

Or shall she step over fears and walk over broken bridges and just make it to the end that never ends but keeps going on?

Miracles happen.

Miracles do happen, don’t they?

It happened to Musa AS when he stood facing the sea ahead with an army behind to get him. He had nowhere to go when the sea parted and made way for him.

It happened to Yunus AS when he prayed in the belly of the fish; he came out alive and safe.

It happened for Prophet SAW when the moon split open.

It happened to Ibrahim AS when he witnessed Allah SWT give life back to the dead birds.

These are the bigger examples. There are innumerable instances from the lives of innumerable people of the past that one could go on. But why go on, if we don’t take it to ourselves. Isn’t it a miracle in itself for Musa AS to be protected and brought up safely by his own enemy?

These are Prophets I am talking about. But they were humans as much as we are.

I have come to realize that Allah SWT narrates these examples

to us not just for our entertainment, but for us to comprehend the deeper meaning behind it.

How much do I have faith in Allah SWT in asking Him for a miracle in my life? When Ibrahim AS knew he was going to be thrown into the fire, wasn’t it very idealistic of him to say ‘Hasbun Allahu wa ni’mal wakeel’? Yet, for that simple reason, Allah SWT ordered the laws of the universe to change and made the fire to be 'safety for him'. [Allah said, "O fire, be coolness and safety upon Ibrahim." Quran, 21:69]

Some miracles can be logical and some just wont. The rainbow is a miracle. And one can scientifically explain it. On the other hand, the splitting of the  moon is a miracle, but how much can one explain it...

Having faith in Allah SWT empowers one and strengthens us to not bend down or lose hope. How much has it remained this way in our lives?

'Dua: Ya Allah whatever You have written for me please make easy for me and let my heart stay away from that which you have not destined for me. Ameen!" :')

Translation: 'It is said that beautiful dreams come true with Dua'

If my eyes went blind tomorrow..

A question: If I couldn't see tomorrow..
what would I have longed to see?


If I couldn't see tomorrow
I would yearn to see my mother's smile
while I pressed her feet..
And would long to see my fathers laughter
while I joked to him..

If I couldn't see tomorrow
I would cry and wish to read more books
I would want to write and learn and paint and beautify my walls


If my eyes went blind tomorrow
I would have wanted that one last look into the mirror
To see myself without any complaints
I'd know that it was always an image, while what looked at it was a soul

If my eyes went blind tomorrow
I would miss the sky's cerulean blue and the cloud's white shapes

A blue scarf or a turquoise- it wouldn't have mattered to me

What would have mattered would be my Hijab in its place

If I couldn't see tomorrow

I would tell every friend of mine

That I still thought they were beautiful in their own ways

And to some of them I'd say

Being themselves was the best they were

If I couldn't see tomorrow,
I would have wished to have been careful with my gaze
While I had the chance
I would have wished to make the best of everything I had

If my eyes went blind tomorrow
I would have known how it felt to see
I would know how it felt to not
And I would know...that you can't blind me
After You had shown me the light

If my eyes went blind tomorrow
If darkness was my only light
If light, felt forgotten..
If my name just became a sympathy
If my dreams just remained dreams

I would know that yesterday I could have seen
and now my eyes just went blind.

So maybe I would have lived life to the fullest
Even when I have lost my sight
Then why wait for all that until I couldn't see?

But what if...

you couldn't find me tomorrow

Would I have made that bit of a difference

that you would have looked for me?

And then again, I ask,

If you knew you couldn't see tomorrow, 

Then...

What would you have done today?

Who are you? Who will you be?

Question: what would you do if you weren't afraid?

Me: I'd love.

I wanted to tell you how it felt to feel infinity wen I floated in the sea.
Thought i would hold your hands and we'd feel it together
I would tell you of the diving against the tide
Of the sky n sea ahead
Of the sunset above the horizon
Of the pink shade above the clouds..
Of peace in being able to hear nothing but my breathing while i floated and looked up at the blue..
I would tell you about the dreams I saw of gardens and flowers in them..and of waves and beautiful fishes in them and of palaces and my repeated dreams of them.
And then I would tell you of those dreams that came true.
I would think of you in my roadtrips and hoped you loved them too.
I wanted to sing to you sometimes. And sometimes I wished you were there to sing to me.
I would walk by the shore..leaving trails of my footsteps and wished they were accompanied by yours soon.

I would race with you and know I'd win. ;)
I sat by the rocks and drew a picture of you and me but the waves washed it away.i wished to tell you a million things more while you are sitting by my side.

I hoped you would hold my hands and  promise to take me forever. I simply wish I could talk to you of the simplest of things in life. I simply hoped to find a companion in you.

I wish I knew who you were. And then again I wonder if you ever wished the same too.

They will learn. Differently.

One thing is for sure. I will teach my children differently.

They will be happy for real. They will find joy in their own way. They will have the freedom to choose. They will travel the world with me. Or maybe on their own too. They will explore. They will not be given ipods and ipads until they know they have grown up. They will feel the sand in the beach; the shore and the sea. They will play in the playgrounds. They will have quality time with family. They will speak openly anything and everything to me. They will have a mutual best friend in their family. They will know to fight for their sister. They will paint their walls if they want to. They will make sandcastles. They will fly kites. They will go cycling and skating. They will learn to say 'i love you' and 'Sorry' a lot more. They will know that actions speak more than those words. They will learn to cuddle, to hug and to feel love for real. They will learn that Quran is their guide. They will have to turn to it at all times. They will see to stand up to the Sunnah even if it meant to stand alone. I will learn to realize they can grow up to make decisions. They can be on their own as long as they are trusted. They can fall in love as long as they are honest and committed. They will see the ups in life. They will also see the downs. They will learn to give wholeheartedly. They will learn to receive humbly. They will learn to buy gifts. They will learn to make their own hobbies. They will learn to bake. They will learn to gain knowledge and not just educational degrees. They will choose their own struggles. They will fight their own battles. They will know about writing letters. Messages in a bottle will be their own. They will visit their grandparents often. They will learn to sew if they’d like their own dresses. They will learn to write if they’d want to read more. They will make their own library at home. They will learn to lead prayers. They will learn to teach. They will learn to make mistakes. They will learn to learn. They will learn to get scared. They will learn to be strong. They will learn to complain. They will learn to forgive. Most of all, they will learn the insignificance of this life. Yet they will learn to be concerned when they need to be.They will learn to connect to Allah alone. They will learn to ask from Him. They will learn to let go.

They will learn to live life to the fullest. They will perhaps live a part of my life. And perhaps they will live a lot more!

Hussaina and Me: Jubail beach. [My fav pic]

The same souls. The same laughter.

Writers..

"Writers are forgetful,

but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date…
They remember every story you’ve ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you’ve just said.
They don’t remember to water the plants
or take out the trash,
but they don’t forget how
to make you laugh.

Writers are forgetful
because
they’re busy
remembering
the important things."

Stolen from sisters tumblr.  [http://girlinthegreenhijab.tumblr.com/]

While she walked alone

Along the long deserted street she treads

Walking alone, she feared..

Aching for company she stared at the sky

Not too long and the star winked at her smile

Her teary eyes sparkled back at the heavens

She looked around for the earth to be shadowy

Night it was, but the land seemed to love her bare feet

The sky, like a huge blanket of harmony

The path like a vast carpet of victory...

Nobody is around so she opens her veil

Taking the chance, a chill breeze kisses her soft pink cheeks

She searches for play and looks around with hope

And Swiftly hears the winds play with her hair

Again, she stares at the dark starlit sky

One by one, they all wave 'Hi!'

She ogles at the unending pathway

The road just lights up with each tree pass by

She felt like singing so she revealed her secrets to the wind

The birds sang back to her, almost as if they understood her so well

She yearned and prayed for her dreams to come true

Looks around and sees,

Isn't she a part of someone else's dream too?

Hope stirs in her glee

Love makes her, with joy,  flee

Happiness engulfs her all along

Her sorrow lingers yet the cheerfulness overpowers it

A forgotten memory faded away with her soft song

Far across the street, a sweet music she hears

The song of peace, the song of a lullaby

It felt like the road recorded her delicate steps

That the birds sang for her all along so passionately

That the crescent moon smiled at her so gently

While the stars watched over her with so much intent

So she rejoiced at her own company

Yes, She bled readily and gladly

At the pain of knowing too much love

She walked along the lonely street

And realized she wasn't really alone at all.

[Deeper than whats written. Has a long story, almost like an entire life story behind it, with beautiful lessons learnt along the way]

I have better beautiful pictures of the same road.
 But this is the picture taken exactly when this piece was felt.
But somehow i cant do justice to the feeling, with my words. :(

The little things that make the big things, bigger..:)

I learnt a lot of new different things in this trip to India...

I learnt patience from khala and didi watching them handle their impossibly pesty little kids...

I saw respect when my jeeju sat for two hours straight just listening to his really old aged mother speak and speak without a pause in their first re-union after five years...

I recognized the blessing of youth and being fully alive by looking at grandma and the age on her face and walk...

I learnt that any place is a place to play and be happy as long as its in my mind, from my nieces who would make anything an item of play and any place a playground...

I learnt that the moon will always be visible under the palm tree in my balcony if I keep watching it from the same spot. The view changes only if I change my perspective of looking at things...

I learnt to slow down..and take life as it comes...and be calm with everything from all the elderly people there :)

Mom and dad will never ask for help but will be delighted if I am at service to them...and a warm smile and some massage for their feet goes a long way into their hearts..

I learnt that calling my five year old niece a princess, makes her day! :)

I learnt that building sand castles with the kids are the most beautiful memories I can make out of sand in my backyard...

I learnt that because I will never know who reads and who will read my posts, I will keep writing..

I learnt that every day i thought of my parents...but whenever i went back home,they looked much different than the last time i saw them when I left them- more lines on their face, their limbs getting weaker, their memory not so sharp..n they talk much less n listen even less... On the same note, they seem much more content..n a bit more happy for the little things in life hamdulillah..

I cherished my dads smile. He has the best smile in the whole world!

I loved having three brothers(in-laws) and all my sisters and my parents at home. I learnt that family time is the BEST of blessings one can have.

I learnt that kids will love me if I pay attention to them and play and giggle with them...

I learnt that happiness multiplies...when I share love.

I learnt a lot more that's in my heart and I learnt that I still want to learn more... ;)

Let me grow...

[Note: It's too personal. Not beneficial]

Everyday, as I go through my list of dreams that I aim to fulfill in life, I only get more and more scared.
I had put away thoughts of marriage. Coz It isn't my priority right now. But...it hit me hard that it will come when it has to come right? :(
The thought scares me more than anything else. Will I find the perfect someone? Who will let me grow. Someone who will read my dream list and say he aimed to tread the same path too..
Should I go on with hopes in my dreams? Yes. Will I get the perfect someone. I don't know.

The only thought that keeps me going is that while Allah SWT has planned my life so beautifully so far, so He would have, for my future too.

Can I just be me and still see you in me?

Wouldn't you let me be your silent sunshine?

And in the nights when I cry, I know I'm heard by You. So there is nothing else I can ever ask for.

Where do I fit then?

It's just so beautiful to see birds on the green grass. Hearing them tweet and sing and watching them jump up and down...Little do we realize, that their place does not lie within our grounds..but by the skies, the clouds and the winds that carry their song..Yeap, that's where they fit...

Makes me wonder...If I hate this world, where do I fit then?

Maryam RA :)

Some sketchy paintings we made to put in the presentation slides, for the Heroes session on Maryam RA (in Riyadh), the stages of her life:
Hamdulillah.

The Bird Story

Hannah makes Dua

Allah SWT answered her

Maryam's Youth

Zakariya AS makes dua

A longing to meet.

I yearn for you in my dreams

To talk to you and tell you things

And ask you a million new

To look up to you, just observe you

To see how you just do what you do

I yearn for you in my dreams

See your face and stare at you

To feel that sense of being heard

To experience the Almighty talk to you

To hear the story of every bird

To see in Jannah, your home's view

O the One who makes beautiful dreams

I make to you a humble plea

Show this heart what it longs to see

Of love that can't be reached

Of hearts that can't be touched

Khadija, Maryam, Aisha and Muhammad

Asiya, Yusuf, all of them and ALL of them

For they can only exist in my dreams

They can only exist in my dreams..