Let me grow...

[Note: It's too personal. Not beneficial]

Everyday, as I go through my list of dreams that I aim to fulfill in life, I only get more and more scared.
I had put away thoughts of marriage. Coz It isn't my priority right now. But...it hit me hard that it will come when it has to come right? :(
The thought scares me more than anything else. Will I find the perfect someone? Who will let me grow. Someone who will read my dream list and say he aimed to tread the same path too..
Should I go on with hopes in my dreams? Yes. Will I get the perfect someone. I don't know.

The only thought that keeps me going is that while Allah SWT has planned my life so beautifully so far, so He would have, for my future too.

Can I just be me and still see you in me?

Wouldn't you let me be your silent sunshine?

And in the nights when I cry, I know I'm heard by You. So there is nothing else I can ever ask for.

Who knows..

Who loves the smell of coffee on a silent rainy day?

Who loves the touch of sunshine along a wintry walk way?

Who loves the sparkle of raindrops over the ground  on a dark starry night?

Who loves the sky's pink scarf during twilight?

Who loves  the white sheath of fog amidst the clouds after a serene sunrise?

Who thinks of you once that lights up their eyes?

Who sees this and reads between the lines?

Who loves and knows love won't heal the ties..

Who loves and knows..every night a new hope dies..

But who loves and knows..a beautiful promise is made every sunrise..

Who loves? And Who knows?

That the silent sunshine

touched the sky

and softly prays

for the smile you lent today...

Life paused?

Its so beautiful to see people grow in their fondness towards Allah...
At the same time, it pains to see the same reflection over the mirror for the past few years,same face, same soul, while the others have moved on and become better beings day by day (masha'Allah for them).

Step up Sameera!!

Dua- 'Ya Allah, make me an extra-ordinary slave of yours!'

Beautiful Metaphor..

'I was a dying flame
on the edge of paper
until you came along
as the most gentle breeze
and reignited my soul,
your soft touch breathed
the vibrance back into me
and I began to glow again,
this time with the hope
of forever providing you
with warmth.'

(via borntobemuslim)

Where do I fit then?

It's just so beautiful to see birds on the green grass. Hearing them tweet and sing and watching them jump up and down...Little do we realize, that their place does not lie within our grounds..but by the skies, the clouds and the winds that carry their song..Yeap, that's where they fit...

Makes me wonder...If I hate this world, where do I fit then?

Soliloquy

Abeer: 'Soliloquy'

Sis hailey: 

I know there's only me, not a soul out there. No ear to hear my call, no hand to extend, to lift me out of this freezing waters that numb my senses, my thoughts appearing as fuzzy as my sight. Yet...

*would you like to continue sam? *

Sam: 

Yet I look ahead and far I see..

A ray of hope stirs in me glee..
Far across this vast ocean and sea..
Something that most often we don't perceive..
Doesn't the sky still meet the sea?
Precisely penciled in a thin line, so much harmony..
This ocean may be too vast,
But sure has its destiny..
Clearly written and painted by the One, simply beautifully.. :) 

Tanjung Bidara Beach Resort, Melaka (LEC)

Lol. I just speak when given the chance :D

'Somewhere along the line, you lose the desire to desire. A point where whatever comes your way is welcomed and what doesn't is least bothered about. Maybe this very feeling is the objective of our trials; to take away that yearning for this dunya from our hearts.

Maybe this is the end of it all....'

Source Unknown. Yet, I couldn't have related to anything as much as this statement. Alhamdulillah maybe?

Harmony

Ever observed closely the flight of a bird? It flaps its wings a few times, goes up high, and then lets loose. Goes with the flow. Feels a float...So beautiful. So peaceful. So exciting!

Feel it, He's Beautiful.

Right now, I'm looking outside my window, up at the sky. And I see a flock of birds flying in circles like they are playing a game. Some seem to simply be flying together spirally, in couples, up and then fly back down together. I would say they are feeling the breeze on their face, but that would be a very humanly perspective of a bird's flight. To a bird, it's a norm. And to add to it, not only does He just grant them this beautiful sense of enjoyment, but He paints them in a lovely canvas of a pink and orange sky with feathery white clouds, a bit of drizzle, and a beautiful view of earth from up there.

It's just so beautiful and makes me so happy to see them happy. So beautiful to see Allah's way of making His creation enjoy their lives. So unimaginable to comprehend His beauty when His creation is so beautiful. And so amazing to know there are so many lessons just at the sight of the flight of the birds..

It is in these moments that I realize, how wonderfully meticulously He has taken care of every little creation of His. And how all of them seem to be in so much harmony simply because they take what's given and do what's to be done. See a lesson there?

Happily rejoicing Allah's source of entertainment, logging off! 

'[And] who created seven heavens in layers. You do not see in the creation of the Most Merciful any inconsistency. So return [your] vision [to the sky]; do you see any breaks?'...

'And We have certainly beautified the nearest heaven with stars'...

'Do they not see the birds above them with wings outspread and [sometimes] folded in? None holds them [aloft] except the Most Merciful. Indeed He is, of all things, Seeing.' 

[Verses from Surah Mulk]

Self-introspection..

Sometimes we need to show people we need them in our life. Not because we really need them. But simply because deep inside, we know we love them. We need to break down that ego. Smash away the conceit. And crush that gigantic devil inside ourselves- the devil of self-importance.  And just show them we need them once in a while. Show them we care for them and will be there for them, even if we can't. Because gratitude is not just thanking, but cherishing. Cherishing what? Their presence.

Otherwise, one by one, they'll leave. And that day will come when we open our eyes only to see that everyone has walked away from our life. Everyone.

If an apology could mend a friendship, then be it.

If a 'Thankyou' could bring a smile, then be it.

If a smile could make a day, then be it.

If a silence could mend a heart, then be it...

If only we all could crush this gigantic devil of ego within us, this world and our relationships would be a lot different. Starting from me.

'Out of gratitude'

Lesson Learnt.

Just yesterday morning I was questioning myself  'Why me? in between all the mess. It is not even concerned with my life. I could just say no..and move on' I was just going to text someone asking them to deal with this and i didnt want to be involved anymore.

And then Allah SWT sent reminders through His ways..

Anam di had a recent status update that just hit me hard: 'You may run after people to give you a job, to let you volunteer, to let you showcase your talent... they may or may not let you; you may or may not be able to 'impress' them. But, in the end, the decision is made far above and beyond these people... it is Allah who recruits people to work for Him... so stop putting your hopes in so-n-so, put your trust in HIM, work to get recruited by HIM, beg HIM to use you... and if He does, you need not worry if you died a kindergarden teacher, CEO of the biggest company, or alone quitely in a far off bed - HE WILL PAY YOUR WAGES, AND HE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.'

The line, ' it is Allah who recruits people to work for Him...' kept ringing in my head.

And then Sis nurraine sends a message to me:

'Do this out of your sincere gratitude' 

SubhanAllah, did we ever think of helping someone just to be grateful to Allah SWT?

Sometimes we just forget the whole purpose of doing something...I thought it was my responsibilty...but no, it was just supposed to be my reaction to Allah's love..

Sitting here, typing this, I feel too shameful, sinful and terrible to even think 'Allah loves me' like she said. And if it is true, then I really still don't know why.

But will always keep this in mind. 

Hopefully, Hoooppeefullllyy this is a gift from Allah to get closer to Him. :')

The same bag that felt like a burden last night, now feels so light, like a little gift...Hamdulillah.

He said 'Its taken care of' :)

After talking to millions of people...okay no, scratch that. After talking to about 500 people :D
there is only one lesson I could grasp - Satisfaction gained from discussing anything with near and dear ones does have a good impact but it just won't last..what lasts is the contentment in speaking to Allah silently in a comfortable spot and knowing that He is listening. And listening for as looooooong as one would want to go on...And being the talkative person I am, I went on and on that evening...And then He sent in comfort through His amazing ways..

I needed to stand there that night and talk to Him. And it was sufficient.

No more confusion. No more worry. Just a simple yet sincere Dua: 'Ya Allah, help me and guide me to do that which pleases You, n i mean it ya Allah!!'

Now anytime an issue strikes, or a question made or a dilemma faced, I know what to ask whom and let my heart still be at peace coz He says, 'It's taken care of!'... :)

Alhamdulillah!

Ever Felt..

6th November 2012

Ever felt like you were falling back while climbing upstairs?

Ever felt your eyes wide open yet your mind is asleep?

Ever felt like crying for no reason?

Ever felt like running in the middle of an empty ground and spinning until your head hurt?

Ever felt like going back in time to thank your friend for a little act of kindness that now meant a lot?

Ever felt lost in thoughts of your plans and dreams?

Ever felt like giving up everything and simply doing nothing?
Ever felt your loud scream in a silent room?

Ever felt like talking to an old man simply because you couldn't take it seeing his loneliness?

Ever felt alone...in a crowd?

Ever felt like going back in time and changing your answer to someone's question?

Ever felt like just feeling?

Can I? ;)

Can I be the ink that would draw your picture?

Can I be the flower that scents your hand?

Can I be the pen that writes your story?

Can I be the star that lights your sky?
Can I?
Can I be the one who shares your key of that golden gate?

The sun that lights your day and the moon that brings you a smile?

Can I just be me and still see you in me?

Wouldn't you let me be your silent sunshine?

[Note: I have NOT fallen in love. Just writing about how I believe a partner would be to another. LOL ] :D

Let go.

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”  ― Stephen King

Letting go in itself is never easy. But when weighing it in terms of Allah's pleasure or the heart's desire, one must, by nature, be able to choose what's right. And when it is the former, it is never a loss. Only a win-win situation. Always a win-win situation.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [2:216 The Holy Quran]

For Anis :)

http://anisishak.tumblr.com/post/34295176740/home-made-battings

http://anisishak.tumblr.com/post/34295148367/huge-tagline

An amazing time with Anis...The girl I love soo much only Allah knows how much..Someone whom I can never be like. Simply an angel. Masha'Allah.

This is her tumblr and there is not one thing that she has written that i have not benefitted from, Bi iznilllah- http://anisishak.tumblr.com/

The Sahaba

Reading about the Sahaba and Sahabiyyah makes me feel ashamed of myself. They have surpassed ALL limits of humanly imaginable possible submission. Their connection with Allah SWT and Allah's connection with them...Subhan'Allah..

I mean look at this: Allah's throne shook when Sa'd in muadh died. He smiled at a Sahaba ( i cant remember the name). He sent salaam upon Khadija RA. He protected Asim Ibn Thabit with a swarm of bees! Khalid ibn al waleed's horse weeped at his death! 

And this is just a gist of what I have read so far..

What exactly stops us from being like them?? Perhaps the voices in our head? Perhaps our priorities aren't set right? What changed?
What can we do to be as amazing as those people who are now promised the Prophet's SAW company in Jannah? Surely, they didn't get it that easy...

Learning..

If I have spent time learning, but that knowledge hasn't gotten me closer to Allah SWT, then I have wasted my time in learning.

If I have spent time learning, but that knowledge hasn't made me be in service with ultimate love and respect to my parents, then I have wasted my time in learning.

If I have spent time learning, but that knowledge hasn't changed me, then I know, for sure, that I have wasted my time in learning....

Maryam RA :)

Some sketchy paintings we made to put in the presentation slides, for the Heroes session on Maryam RA (in Riyadh), the stages of her life:
Hamdulillah.

The Bird Story

Hannah makes Dua

Allah SWT answered her

Maryam's Youth

Zakariya AS makes dua

Leaving home.

It's like an anchor tied to my heart and dropped deeeeeeeeeeep down. Makes it difficult to move or think of anything else. I thought I didn't attach myself to anyone or any place. But I leave my heart at home. It's normal. But that's the sad part- why is it normal?

The pain of leaving the comforts of home and the sight of my parents...is painful beyond measure.

Time is a strange thing. While I am dreading the coming few months, someone else is eagerly waiting for time to fly by. And while the last three months flew as fast as a blink of an eye for me, it went as slow as a snail for someone else. 

If I look back at the last three months which were the best retreat of my life and ask myself if I had made the best of it, I can't find an answer. I can't have enough of my mother's repeatomania. My dad's wisdom. And my little sister's bragging about me being good for nothing. And most of all, I can never have enough of my bed. At the same time, I have had the most productive time so far for the first time. hamdulillah.

Why is it so easy to leave your heart at home? :'(

'Hamdulillah'

Ever just sat down and simply sincerely said 'Thankyou for everything Ya Allah!' ?

Perspective.

Today I looked at myself in the mirror but saw a different person. A different eye and a different face. Today I didnt look at my reflection..But my reflection looked at me. :)

Remorse.

A crimson sun sets upon the silent horizon. Tired, he enters their old tattered house. The smile on her face lights him up for no reason. And then all weariness sheds away as he hears two words from her pink and still fresh lips. 'I'm expecting' she says. A curve is drawn upon his golden brown face. He kisses her forehead. Months later, he waits outside the labor room in anxiety. He walks from one end to the other of the dreary passageway. Half an hour later, a voice calls him in. 'Congratulations sir, It's a baby girl' it says and vanishes across the room. They place a bundle upon his hefty hands and leave. For two minutes he stares at the wide open eyes of this little life. She smiles at him. Tears trickle down his soft cheeks as he places her beside her mother. 'She'll be a Doctor!', she says. 'No! Lawyer', he smiles as he says to her. Together they molded every part of the little girl. Every step rethought. Everything carefully planned. Sacrifices made. All for the best of their daughter.

Together they hung the first drawing she made on the refrigerator. She felt elated and made another one. They gifted her a kitten when they discovered she loved cats. They thought it'd teach her kindness towards everything. They made her favorite cake. They made the little things special for her. They never missed her name in their prayers. Even when she wanted to win her first running race, she asked them to pray and they did. They kissed her goodnight every night and made her feel loved, even if she was already asleep. They cried when she lost, but showed her that strength lies in the effort, not the result. They taught her patience by just being who they were. They bought fluorescent stars and put them up the ceiling simply because she loved the stars. They bought her favorite swimsuit, even though they didn't like it. They carefully chose almost every thing for her in her life.

Days passed by and the time came when they didn't even realize after all the bottle feeding, back to school rides, cycling and swimming lessons, barbeques in the park, badminton games, coffee treats, cries and fights, midnight drives, surprise parties, and every single night when they put the blanket over her...she has grown up now.

To leave. And without second thoughts, she just left. Left behind all those memories. All that love and care. To live a life of her own. Only if she realized she will lose everything. And that to them, she can never ever repay back their love.

She can try to be everything they wanted her to be, but she can only try. She can never ever heal those broken wounds. Mend those broken glasses. Or give life to the now wrinkled hands that once molded her soul.

:'(

A longing to meet.

I yearn for you in my dreams

To talk to you and tell you things

And ask you a million new

To look up to you, just observe you

To see how you just do what you do

I yearn for you in my dreams

See your face and stare at you

To feel that sense of being heard

To experience the Almighty talk to you

To hear the story of every bird

To see in Jannah, your home's view

O the One who makes beautiful dreams

I make to you a humble plea

Show this heart what it longs to see

Of love that can't be reached

Of hearts that can't be touched

Khadija, Maryam, Aisha and Muhammad

Asiya, Yusuf, all of them and ALL of them

For they can only exist in my dreams

They can only exist in my dreams..

Of Pain In Comfort.

While my head talks to me non-stop of the million things it has in it I decide to shoo it all away just by going to my mother. I lay next to her and hug her tight. I find enough space for myself and adjust myself swiftly and comfortably by her side.  I sense a magical feeling. I smell her scent. I feel her warmth. I don't understand what's happening. All that stress flees from my mind. Peace. Slowly but deeply, I fall asleep. Without any effort.

I closed my eyes and a picture came to my mind. Of another boy in the same land that I stand on, far far away, also hugging his  mother. He quickly wraps himself around her. He too, doesn't seem to understand what is happening. He smells her blood. He smells her tears, her sweat. He senses her pain. Slowly, but deeply, he falls asleep. Without any reason. :'(

Syria

Palestine

Palestine

Burma

Kashmir

 

Kashmir

And so on...  And so on?

'اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ'

'O Allah! Raise the standing of Islam and the Muslims.' 

 وَدَمِّرْ أَعْدآءَ الدِّينِ وَاحْمِ حَوْزَةَ الإسْلامِ يَا رَبَّ '
'العَالَمِينَ
'Destroy the enemies of the Deen, and protect the lands of Islam, O Lord of the Worlds.'

Dua ;)

Today i remembered how truly madly deeply i wanted something. Made a beautiful dua for it.
I don't know if I'll remember this years later. But I know He won't forget. So I asked Him now itself.  :P He never forgets.
Point is, even when we forget what we want, He won't. So never underestimate the power of dua. Keep talking to Him. In every you-ish way :)

If I could...

If I could, I'd kiss and hug and thank my mom a lot more often..

If I could, I'd learn more languages  from every new friend I made..

If I could, I'd buy an ice cream from the ice cream vendor simply to make his day..

If I could, I'd go back in time and hug my favorite math teacher and tell her I loved her..

If I could, I'd tell someone how deeply I loved them..

If I could, I'd tell my dad in detail how he molded every part of me in my life..

If I could, I'd strive hard to get back my favorite childhood book 'The long walk'..
If I could, I'd miss a flight simply to stay back home a little longer..

If I could, I'd talk to the birds..

If I could, I'd find out what would be the best present for Him and prepare it in the best of ways to hand over to Him..

If I could, I'd kiss the stars 'goodnight' every single night..

If I could, I'd never stay in the same place..

If I could, I'd fly..

In Search Of The Unknown Treasure..

Desperately finding her purpose. Unraveling her hidden mystery. Looking for the lyrics of her unsung song. Time to break the wall she built. Around herself.

She's looking for the perfect treasure to hand over to her Lord when she meets Him. Can't seem to find it. A sense of urgency makes her feel overwhelmed. With sorrow. But also in happiness. 
I don't know.

I lay is silence. And I cannot sleep. I walk. But lost in thoughts. I can't stop. Every second that the clock ticks, I hear it. It feels like I'm in a cliche movie. Life is moving on. I left a trail of my own footstep last night. And today it is gone.

I always felt He placed me in beautiful paintings. Only now I realize how wrong I was. I have been put in this empty canvas for me to paint all this while. Years have passed, and i haven't even found my paints yet. What about the painting? I left that for tomorrow. There is still time.

But that 'tomorrow' now feels so uncertain. I long to dream. And truly believe in it coming true. Until now I found complacency in Allah SWT. Now my mind debates back to me. If I don't break barriers I built around myself, how am I going to go ahead and do it for Him. He is there. But I am not doing enough. I still don't believe in myself enough. And this thought is depressing. Lived in delusion all this while. It now hits me and I can't wait no more.

This longing. This yearning for it. It is there, I just can't seem to see it. Feel it. find it.

What is it?

Will she find it before the pen stops writing her story? Will she meet her Lord without accomplishing anything of significance? Or will she find the treasure and wrap it up beautifully with the best perfume she finds?

Are we really in pain?

The body retires. Yet the mind cannot stop worrying. The heart bleeds with ache. The soul yearns for their release. Their release from torture. Their release from injustice. Their release from the burden they didn't chose to bear. How can I sleep while my brothers and sisters out there are staying up fighting? I can't.

When yesterday you told yourself 'I don't deserve this attitude they give me' or 'I don't deserve this/that'. Have you thought about all those myriad things you don't deserve, but you have? Do we deserve to wake up so comfortable in our beds? Do we deserve to have coffee WITH sugar? Do we deserve to drink clean water? Do we deserve to get meal three times a day? Do we deserve to be loved? Do we deserve to have books AND study them? Do we deserve this knowledge? Do we deserve this deen?

Love.

For how long will we toil?

Isn't it enough already? Sleepless nights. Hopeless cries. Why?

Why are we so lost in the oceans of love, in the myriad expectations, in the tireless toils for attention? For love?

Love is there. Clear and here. Then why are we walking running around this endless path of restlessness?

Imagine a fork in the road. Two paths, two different journeys. Both look the same. But for one, you can see the end. You can see some light. The scenery. The view. The road is lit up. The trees are green. the sky is fresh and blue. But the path is less travelled by. Then you look at the other road. The same. Trees. Leaves. But no lights. You can't see where it ends. It goes on. It looks beautiful. But you can't see where it goes.

Love. Where are we heading with this? Without doubt, we all look for it. Yearn for it. Question is why are we? Why are we hunting for flowers while the most beautiful and the perfect rose is just in our backyard?

The Light.

I've always loved long journeys.When i was younger,i used to keeeeep looking for lights of my city amidst the pitch black darkness while my dad drove...right now i'm in one...from the valleys of makkah through the vast empty deserts to the city of Riyadh...I love it so much,sometimes i wish it'd never end.
I look outside my window and see nothing and everything...little lights flicker here and there and quickly pass by...some daaaark huuge mountains..sometimes some treees.Far off at a distance i see some lights perhaps of another city...again pitch black darkness -its scary how you just can't see what lies beyond.
Stars, and slowly some more stars visible,until I realise I'm staring at a huuuuuge vast black dome completely lit up with tiny twinkling stars...
Same story every journey but the feeling never fades..
Slowly I realise as the vehicle keeeeps running,almost all of my life has been likewise. Dark.

The Eyes that speak.

[I write this for myself.]

Lately I have been reading a lot of shares on facebook about the Hijab and the Niqab etc etc. I'm tired wallahi. Of reading all this. No one and nothing can explain what it is about.

No I DO NOT wear my niqab for any hypothetical 'husband'. I hate this overly used statement. I'm sorry, but I don't like it. What if tomorrow, the one I marry says he doesn't want me to wear it?[La QadrAllah] What if he loves me to wear it and I wear it for him and then naudhubillah he is no more? then will I have to remove it because he is no longer alive and I had worn it just for him?

First of all, i don't like classifying. Hijabi. Niqabi. Non-Hijabi. What's this? Am sure my niqaab is equal to someone else's Hijab. Hayaa is the word for me. Hayaa. :)

In adoration deep..

Sunlight streams through the window pane
Rainbow radiant on the grass
Do you see it too?

I dreamt of stars in my room,
I dreamt of rainbow routes to cross,
Did you dream too?

I feel the rain, wet on my skin,
I feel the breeze, the serene zephyr,
Do you sense it too?

I see birds rejoice, I see children in delight,
I see the cloud in shapes
Of hearts and blooms in white.

Is it just me, or do you believe too? 
In worlds wonders,
In dreamlike fairy-tales,

In fruitful faith,
In invincible invisible Lord,

In silent sound sleep,
In love life, in adoration deep,

In sparkly treasures,
In challenges and leisure,

In endless thoughts,
In watery droughts,

In dreams, huge dreams?
To fly high, climb up high, 
To find peace, in tough times,
Flowers amidst thorns,
Smiles amidst sorrow?


:)

While The pigeons Ate To Their Fill...

Very happily she drops food for them on my window sill. Smilingly she puts a generous amount saying 'The more we put the more happy they are'. And then she drops them carefully by the corner because otherwise they'd fall down and the pigeons wouldn't be able to have enough. 'Heights of sincerity' I think to myself about my mother.

She then closes the window to my surprise. If it were me, I'd keep my window open and sit back to watch them come and eat. I'd enjoy the sight. But she says, 'They won't come and feel free. They must enjoy themselves', and quietly leaves my room. I stand there dazed. Watching through my window, shadows of pigeons fly and come towards it. One by one, a lot of them pecking food happily. And I wonder to myself, my mom doesn't even know this? She finds happiness in feeding them and contentment in just knowing that they ate to their fill even without watching them. They don't even know who does this for them. They don't even know that the ease with which they eat had been prepared for and thought of already and is not a mere coincidence.

And then I remain there watching, and thinking to myself. How many a times her kindness towards me might have gone unnoticed? I recollect all those littlest of things I took for granted- waking up and seeing that the curtains are closed so the piercing sunlight may not disturb me, the blanket is over me so I'm not feeling too cold, the garbage basket is clear and emptied, breakfast is ready, my laptop is not next to me almost dropping off my bed but nicely placed over my table, my clothes are washed, etc. etc.

A drop of tear trickles down my eyes as I slowly realize all those people in my life whose kindness and love went unnoticed. To whom my 'Sorry's' and 'Thankyous's' were left unsaid.

I learn from my mom, by this little action she does. To try to excel in the smallest of deeds. And to be there for anyone when I can be there. And to thank wholeheartedly whenever I should. And to say sorry if it can mend a relationship. And to 'not expect' from anyone. And most importantly, I learn my lesson of 'Sincerity'.

True sincerity is when you give someone and they don't even know it. When you give so much that they can't repay you. When you know that no one knows, but Allah SWT has seen you. Knowing that Him knowing is enough. Knowing that He won't let it go forgotten. THAT'S sincerity.

Living by His name, 'AlWitr' :)

Ever felt the sweetness of making Sujood to the Almighty that you never felt like getting up? Picturize this. You are sitting in your favorite assembly, attentively listening, focused and absolutely interested. Feebly in the background you hear the call for Maghrib prayer. What would you do? Here is this amazing event going on and you don't want to miss a minute. Would you get the urge to leave, wait for someone to accompany you or would you take the initiative?

Live by the name of Allah SWT 'AlWitr'[meaning: The Odd]. And be different, be unique. If you have to stand out amongst your peers/colleagues, then be it. Allah SWT is AlWitr, and He loves us to be different for His sake. Excel in what you do and be the BEST you can be for the sake of gaining His pleasure and then watch the victory flow through your life and feel the sweetness of faith. Stand up for what you believe in even if it is going to make you stand out because only Allah is going to judge you. Not the people.

That Perpetual Presence.

Was sitting by myself near the UIA Teh Tarik river, and was observing. Simply staring at the life moving ahead of me. People walked by. Birds flew by and tweeted. Some leaves shed. Things kept changing. Point is, I was watching them all. But no one knew. Realization then strikes. My mind reminds itself of the beautiful words of Allah SWT- 'And He knows whatever there is in (or on) the earth and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but he knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record.' [An'am 59] We are being watched. Every minute, every moment. There is that presence. Each word of mine is recorded and each thought is noted. Constantly and untiringly. Each detail unmissed. No matter if it seems like the world's burden is on our shoulders, or all the happiness of the world is ours, that presence is still there. Silently observing. We are being watched.

Live each moment in the presence of our Lord, Al Baseer.

~ In the place where i live...

In the place where I Live,
Birds fly with me along my way
Children come to me, together we play
In the place where I live
Fickle Rains come and go,
Clouds orange, white and pink, they glow!
The sky is blue, very blue
The earth is green, fresh and new
Waters sparkle, Rivers flow
Rainbows appear when you never know
In the place where I live,
Golden sunlight lights up my room
Morning flowers in beautiful bloom
The sky is pink
During dusk and dawn
To butterflies you can wink,
Birds sing a song.
In the place where I live,
There is so much Happiness to give.
Its just Beautiful to be
You just have to come and see.
But the place where I live,
Is in no way like Heaven, you know
Just makes me ponder
How would be, in Heaven, a home?

:)

Words from a Happy person today :)

I walk. I feel like I'm flying with the birds. I feel the breeze over my face. I see. But I am lost in the beauty of my Creator's creation. 'It's beautiful' is an understatement. I hear. But I am not listening. I look at the world in front of me. I wonder. If such was beauty defined, then my weak humanly imagination could never in the deepest corner of my mind be able to comprehend the beauty He has in store for me in the hereafter, if I'd be rewarded it. And then my mind wonders more. If I cannot grasp the 'unseen' which has been described to me, how about that which isn't? I then think more. What about Him? If His creation was unthinkably unspeakably unimaginably so not comprehendible, then what about the Creator Himself? I feel happy coz I feel such. It's a sweet feeling one must have once in a while. It's a blessing to feel so. An incredibly awesome blessing.

All because I finally touched my forehead on the ground today. Not like yesterday. Not like the last time. This time it was different. And it was the sweetest feeling ever. I didn't want to get up from the closeness I felt to Him.

I want to see His beauty. And stare at Him with all my heart's content on THAT day and those days after it. I WANT it real bad. And such I want for all of us together. Do you? Lets bow down tonight in gratitude to Him, asking forgiveness to the Greatest coz we are more weak than we ever knew. And let's feel that pleasure together. The pleasure in knowing there is someone who is there for us, always, waiting, in the middle of the night, while we are asleep, simply because He loves us. And He promised us to give us whatever we asked for, like a blank cheque He's leaving on our door. Let's fill it together with the words 'Your pleasure'. :)

:)

DREAM. And mean it. :)

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." One day I'm going to fulfill MY purpose in life. We all will. We all should. Life is more than aiming for a 'livelihood'. More than what is normal. More than what we are taught in school. More than what we actually think. THINK MORE. DREAM, AND BELIEVE IN ITS COMING TRUE. Because the Greatest power can do ANYTHING for me, and He is just a Dua away. - Saam :) [Slept inspired and woke up with a dream]

I want to attend NicheHeroes one day insha'Allah.

To the Apple of my eyes: Mom and Dad

Did your parents smile because of you today?

We all have our busy lives, our priorities. So where did we place the two most important elements in our life? Mom and Dad.

Once we love someone, our mind automatically keeps playing a movie in itself- of all those times we spent with them, their smiles, their words, their little gestures that touched our hearts. Movies of things we imagine and wish to happen with them. As you relate yourself to this, who comes to your mind? Is it Allah SWT? Is it then your parents? Or is it just someone else?

Our Parents. Are they in our thoughts always? In our prayers?

Or will they be tomorrow when we wake up and realize that the hand’s comfort that soothed our minds was gone forever. The lap where we had the most comfortable sleep was no more. The person who gave us the best advice at the time of help wasn’t sitting in his seat…will they then be in our heartfelt prayers? When we need them for petty little doubts and questions in life, but they just aren’t there. When we realize, they were just here all the time. Just a phone call away. Or a room away. But we never had the ‘time’?

Growing up, and staying away from them for a while, I have learnt that little words of love, little acts of affection, gets them to be happy all night long. Show them you love them simply by calling them and telling them you missed them. And that would be enough. No matter how much we feel they do not understand us, they ‘do not know’, or they ‘wont get it’…actually, ‘they always got it. And it was simply because they loved us more than themselves and wanted the best for us that they seemed how they seemed’.

No need to work so hard, so hard to earn Jannah, when the simplest bridge to Paradise is right here in front of us. Don’t wait until it is too, gone. And gone forever.

Why did I have to fall so low

To know how high I had been

Why did I have to lose it all

To realize what I had achieved

Nothing I would have gained in life

If not for the prayers by them.

For even if all the world was mine,

To them I could never be grateful..

For the me I am today.

So did your parents smile because of you today?

LOVE ~

Today I saw what ‘Love’ meant.

I saw her sip his bitter coffee just to make sure the sugar was right. She tastes his saltless curry to ensure his lunch tasted perfect. She sees to it that he eats his fill, while she doesn’t have the appetite thinking about the difficulties they face. She shows him love, and she smiles to him, hides her tears and gives him hope that he will be fine soon. Everything will be fine soon. Their children throw tantrums; she takes care of them patiently making sure he doesn’t have a headache while he rests. He looks at her with respect and invisible gratitude, then looks aside wiping his helpless tears. Together, they talk anything but what they face, just so that no one is reminding each

other of their tragedy.

She slams her forehead to the ground, just to ask Allah for help. She turns to him with a look that says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll try my best’. Every bit of help she gets for him, she grabs with humility.

They laugh, hiding their sorrows within themselves, maybe, hopefully, leaving it for the One to hear.

No, I am not talking about Khadija’s RA behavior towards Muhammad SAW when he needed her. But of a sister in reality today going through tests over tests by Allah SWT, probably because and hopefully coz she is beloved to Him.

Today I saw what ‘Love’ meant.

Love: It maybe those laughters, those little flowers, the romance, those touching words or the kindness between the two.

But truly, love is clear when the loved one feels loved every time you leave them; knows you will be there every time they need you; feels your presence at the most adverse of times and if you can't make it then they know they have your sincere prayers. Love is not just the flower you give, but the promise you hand over with it. The promise to stand together at all times EVEN when those times are against you.

Love is a promise. The Real Promise.