This too shall pass...

What have you lost if a test only got you closer to Allah swt even if it’s hard and heartbreakingly shattering to bear in this Dunya? If all that matters is your connection with Allah, nothing will break you.

'O you who are patient! Bear a little more, just a little more remains.' [Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullaah)]

.....And yet..."with every hardship there is ease. With every hardship there is ease." :') [Quran: 94:5-6] That's His promise. Derive your strength from Him...:')

Say Alhamdulillah. Coz Allah says ''If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; ' [14:7]

Haven't Allah's plans always been better for you? 

Haven't you seen so much love this year subhanAllah and hasn't He given you so many blessings. EVEN in this test, haven't you seen how Allah has softened everyone's (especially those that matter to you the most) hearts towards you?  This is just a small thing He's taken compared to all that..Don't despair. Infact it's nothing compared to the real mansions you want in the akhirah..

'Smile and tell Him thanks and look ahead' :)

Weren't you the one who asked for His love. Now that you're tested, you don't want it? Tell Allah with that fragile heart of yours, 'Yes, I still believe YOU are ArRahman. You are AlWudood. I am not giving up on You ya Rabb' 

This is what life is. To walk forth and build new dreams upon the rubble of the previous ones. And you can't go ahead half-heartedly. Life's events will keep breaking you, but it will make you a 1000 times stronger. Walk on, as you have walked on previously. From tough battles. You won't let this stop you. Because that isn't you. You will figure a way. He will guide you out. Fall, falter, cry, but you will pass this bridge with strength inshaAllah. I will never escape the lessons HE wants me to learn but it will only take me to Him. inshaAllah.  Life is all about Him testing us...and about our hearts going back to Him when its heading elsewhere.  Such that it cries out to Him feeling helpless knowing that only He can get us through.  And for us to see Allah's compassion and mercy fixing our affairs till we would say "THIS is Allah." ...

O Allah, I accept your test. Just don't let me disappoint those around me :'(

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا  :')  That means you can bear this. Alhamdulillah. Its really nothing! :D

#ThisTooShallPass

My final 'single' departure from Malaysia iA

24th May 2014 6:45pm [I'm typing this on air]

Ya rabb...this is between you and me..and I truly know i don't deserve all this love. I cannot understand how people would love someone like me n make time for me. Not just make time for me but also make it special for me in every possible way. I know my reality.  N it doesn't deserve even a speck of this. I haven't earned anything.  But it is you ya Allah who put love in the hearts of those i love. It is You, ya alwudood...enveloping me with it. And i bow down in humility to You,  and thank You and beg of Your forgiveness for granting me without me asking,
and amidst all the love i received today, I seek the love of You ya AlWadood, the giver of All love that's sufficient.

Empty Vessel

I will look back to this day.

To that feeling when I stood in front of a pile of books stacked in that Ustadh's shelf. And felt blank. How I know nothing , not even to understand what I read in front of me and yet how I wish to learn so much! Really… I see an ocean in front of me, and I feel like a thirsty empty vessel desperately desiring to grasp it all…

This is really a long journey to embark on. But this is not impossible. This is the beginning and one day I will look back to this day, when I’m drowned deep in that ocean, far far away… I know I’ll get there one day. inshaAllah.

And when I do look back, and then look ahead, I’ll still feel the same, and be the same thirsty empty vessel.

Why do I want this?

I want this so bad. Because I feel like I've become stagnant. In my eman.

I want my eman to rise with the light of His knowledge.

And everytime I Err, or sin or think of sinning, I want knowledge to remind me of Him.

I want to KNOW what I do, why I’m doing it, and how to do it in the way that pleases Allah swt. In whatever I do.

I want to have answers when my children ask me.

I want to know.

I want to learn more n more of Him, to increase in my love and fear of Him.

I want my heart to feel alive. Its dead. I want to know how to live.

And if possible, I want to connect people around me to the Most Beaaaaaaaaaaaaaautiful connection of all. In whichever way I can. I want this so much.

I want to tread the path of knowledge, for it’s the path to Jannah and I want Jannah real bad.

I HAVE to look back to this day. To remind myself WHY I ever tread on this path. No matter how difficult it gets. I shouldn't give up. And no matter how easy it gets, I shouldn't become arrogant.

The funny thing is, what I felt today is what I felt 8 years ago, back in my home, when I stood there, staring at my shelf of books that I had wanted to learn. I look back to that day now, and I realize I’ve read them all. Yet I think this feeling will never change. And it shouldn't. inshaAllah.... 

O Allah! Make me eligible to receive the light of your knowledge and utilize it to Your pleasure. Ameen....