For years, I’ve been yearning.
To feel a sense of closeness to Him. For being tested, just to
know I’m loved.
To know, if I’m loved by the One I adore so much.
I’ve been drowning in the grief of realising the unworthiness
of this life and this Dunya, and the increasing desire for Jannah…the real
deal. Been wondering, will I ever be an extra-ordinary slave of Him, or just
simply be.
Except until a few days ago, while sitting alone near His
blessed house and contemplating over His countless blessings over me right from
my birth to this very breath that I take… Unfathomable and Uncountable
blessings from the Almighty; Humility overpowers me and I’m overwhelmed with
the feeling to make more supplications, yet I can’t ask for more, before
thanking Him enough.
And then I wonder in awe, ‘why me?’
Amidst the young orphans, the homes that were wrecked, the
bodies that were born paralyzed, the school children whose schools were bombed,
the underprivileged with meager sustenance, the healthy new borns with a brain
damage, the unintelligent, the children whose parents worked in the streets day
and night, those whose new clothes were only the discarded ones of the rich,
youth who slept hungry, fasted with no food to break their fasts, and amidst
those who didn’t know Islam- the truth, the ones who slept and woke up living a
systematic life with no purpose, those who were blessed with the Dunya and not
the Deen, those who had the Qur’an but only in their shelves and amidst….this
unjust world; He raised me. Not deprived like the ones above, but differently
and beautifully. Deprived (or rather ‘tested’) in some things, but given most; Unlike
the ones above. He granted me so much I never asked for. And most of
all, if He granted me the desire to see Him and yearn for His love, wasn’t it
the greatest of blessings to be thankful for already?
And that…. Was sufficient. To look back at what I’ve been
yearning for. I AM extraordinary in the
simplest of ways He’s given me or deprived of me. AND SO ARE WE ALL. and so are those in the above mentioned, too...Alhamdulillah..
I always thought Maryam AS said this for herself when she
replied to Zachariah that the fruits she had were from Allah swt. Indeed they
were. But her statement was so general- “She said, ‘It is from Allah. Indeed,
Allah provides for whom He wills without account.’" [Qur’an 3:37]
:’)
Need I say more?
Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account…
Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without measure..[Qur'an 3:37]
[May Allah make us of them]
 |
| 2nd Ramadan 1436,Alhamdulillah |
